I was an awkward child with an equally awkward sense of style. So it was strange that my mom decided to enter me in beauty pageants. Stranger still that I had any success at it at all. I can only imagine that it was because of the mean Charleston dance I did in my super-awesome flapper dress to “Five foot two, eyes of blue” by Art Landry (1925) for the talent portion.

You’ll notice the hair style/glasses/clothing choices are quite unusual for a 4th grader. The gray scarf that you see in one of the photos was handcrafted by myself. I had tons of them in every color imaginable. I’d get a bandanna, cut the fringe, and then bead it with coordinating plastic pony beads. I bet I wore one every day for a year or two. Sometimes, I’d pair it with a sweatshirt. Sometimes a collared shirt. Sometimes both. Or a t-shirt for a more casual look. You’ll also notice that my hair evolved to a female mullet, and then full-on 80’s rocker. I thought I looked pretty amazing back then.